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Dating an introvert is the best move an extrovert could do. While independent introverts don't mind hanging back, extroverts enjoy being.

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So what is it? This mess of misunderstanding, expectations foiled, and the feelings of rejection and judgment that often follow, can be mitigated by close attention to 3 variables: The issue of when falls into 2 categories: Knowing the right time to date is completely individual.

Neither approach is better than the other. Pay attention to your motivation to date during or after treatment. Whether it happens during treatment or after, cancer changes your understanding of your identity. If you decide to date during treatment, expect that the psychological impact of your cancer experience will arrive at some future date.

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If you decide to wait until some time has passed since your diagnosis, whom you want to be with, and who you are, might already have changed. You cannot not talk about your meaningful experience if you want the relationship to grow. But spilling the beans too early may scare away the wildlife. Consider taking a page from the old playbook and disclosing only one little nugget at a time.

How will you know? Thoughtful questions and responses, keeping those stories in check about aunt so-and-so who had cancer, and not probing for juicy tidbits are good places for a partner to start.


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Jerkface runs away after hearing your heavy news, then the nugget approach will have protected your heart from being fully exposed. Save the good stuff for someone who deserves to hear your story.

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You may be looking to get sympathy, admiration, pity, or approval from your date. Conversely, you can give knowledge, trust, or insight. Giving comes from a centered, grounded place; getting comes from a place of need. Most of us, me included, struggle to figure out how to disclose deeply personal information on the fly.

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